Alternatives to Spanking
Alternatives for Infants
Infants are not yet able to distinguish right from wrong. They are unable to determine the right way and the wrong way to act in a given situation and the right or wrong way to interact with a given object. Spanking is ineffective at this age and may end up causing attachment problems that lead to a gradual growth in the distance between you and your child.
The best solution would be to:
1. Avoid potential conflicts from arising.
2. If you are frustrated about your infant's tendency to play with a dangerous object, try replacing that object with something more interesting like a new toy or an item they have never seen before to divert their attention (Leach, 1996).
The best solution would be to:
1. Avoid potential conflicts from arising.
2. If you are frustrated about your infant's tendency to play with a dangerous object, try replacing that object with something more interesting like a new toy or an item they have never seen before to divert their attention (Leach, 1996).
Alternatives for Toddlers
Toddlers are at the age of exploration. It is almost impossible to tell a toddler not to exhibit naughty behaviors or play with dangerous items because they often do not understand the consequences (Samalin & Whitney, 1995). This is why they are still exploring.
Some ways to control your anger include:
1. Learn to subvert it. Realize that direct clashes with a toddler who may not understand the consequences the same way you do, is ineffective. Ease problematic situations with something funny or unexpected, like tickling a slightly upset child (Ruben, 1996).
2. Instead of slapping the child directly, slap your knee or a table. This will get the child's attention without directly harming him or her (Leach, 1996).
3. Take control of the situation before it gets worse and ends up frustrating you further. When a child is being difficult about leaving, lift him or her up (Leach, 1996).
Try using something funny or unexpected, turning the child around like an airplane, to divert his or her attention.
Some ways to control your anger include:
1. Learn to subvert it. Realize that direct clashes with a toddler who may not understand the consequences the same way you do, is ineffective. Ease problematic situations with something funny or unexpected, like tickling a slightly upset child (Ruben, 1996).
2. Instead of slapping the child directly, slap your knee or a table. This will get the child's attention without directly harming him or her (Leach, 1996).
3. Take control of the situation before it gets worse and ends up frustrating you further. When a child is being difficult about leaving, lift him or her up (Leach, 1996).
Try using something funny or unexpected, turning the child around like an airplane, to divert his or her attention.
Alternatives for Adolescents
Adolescence is a period fraught with emotional extremities. The development of the cortical and limbic brain systems in adolescence is also associated with an increase in risk taking behavior (Lightfoot & Cole, 2011). You may constantly find yourself frustrated by their temper or demeanor.
To avoid physical punishment when this happens, this is what you should do:
1. Start by clapping your hands loudly instead of slapping directly. This is bound to get the adolescent's attention. If this does not work, crouch to his or her level, hold their hands and stare at them (Leach, 1996). This should be enough to make them realize that the situation is serious.
2. Make sure punishment is fair and related to the wrongdoing of the child. Otherwise, the child will not learn from his or her mistake (Leach, 1996). He or she might just label the incident as you being irrational.
3. Time-outs are not only done to punish the child (Ruben, 1996). Since you and your child will be apart during the time-out, it gives both of you a short amount of time to calm yourselves down and regain your composure before talking to each other again.
To avoid physical punishment when this happens, this is what you should do:
1. Start by clapping your hands loudly instead of slapping directly. This is bound to get the adolescent's attention. If this does not work, crouch to his or her level, hold their hands and stare at them (Leach, 1996). This should be enough to make them realize that the situation is serious.
2. Make sure punishment is fair and related to the wrongdoing of the child. Otherwise, the child will not learn from his or her mistake (Leach, 1996). He or she might just label the incident as you being irrational.
3. Time-outs are not only done to punish the child (Ruben, 1996). Since you and your child will be apart during the time-out, it gives both of you a short amount of time to calm yourselves down and regain your composure before talking to each other again.